What is "being a relationship" like for Japanese? - Waku Waku

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What is "being a relationship" like for Japanese?

Where do Japanese people meet someone special and how do they start a relationship? This article will talk about the very basic idea of the romantic relationships for Japanese people.

Waku Waku

Waku Waku

Published on 06 Nov 2020, 12:00

1. Japanese are shy

What is

First of all, it would be important to understand the characteristics of the Japanese. But Japanese people are, basically, very shy.

They don't assert themselves too much, or express their feelings or emotions to others such openly. Even if they are in love, both Japanese men and women don’t actively show their love.

What is

Some pretend as if they aren’t in love. Others are too shy so that they are even unable to look straight in the eye of the one who they are in love with.

However, the more they get to know each other, the more shyness gradually fades away. It just takes some time!

2. "Will you be my lover?"

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This is probably one of the uniqueness about Japanese relationships, but they start their relationships with declarations of love.

It’s normally addressed by asking if the other is interested in having a relationship.

And if the answer is "yes", then they start dating officially. It isn’t always the same case, but still Japanese people tend to take this process more seriously and importantly.

What is

In addition to that, Japanese people also pay attention to the timing to tell a love. For instance, a declaration day would be picked up as kind of the memorable day, such as a birthday or some special event’s day and so on. Isn't it romantic?

This is a typical starting pattern of the Japanese relationship. Telling a love for the first time makes you so nervous, but isn't it totally a bad idea to start dating as an official couple from the early stage?

3. Where to meet someone special

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The most well known way is "Goukon", which is a kind of group date that is usually organized to set up couples or friendships.

The word "Goukon" (合コン) is combined word with "Goudou" (合同 - combination) and "Conpa" (コンパ - drinking together). "Conpa" is actually rooted from the English word "company".

What is

Generally, a man and woman who know each other (host) organize Goukon to bring the same number of friends or colleagues, e.g. 3 men and 3 women. It can be imagined like a little formal dinner party.

In the past, this "Conpa" style was the most popular way to meet someone in Japan. However, more recently, using dating applications has become increasingly trendy too.

It is said that using app is actually much easier to look for someone special than attending a Goukon, in terms of efficiency as well as financial.

What is

What was like before?

In Japan, a long time ago, the mainstream of dating patterns was "Omiai", which was arranged dating. And "Omiai" was automatically supposed to lead to their marriages.

The idea of "love marriage" was born around 1900, and when the number of love marriage exceeded the arranged one was just around 1965. Namely, it has been only half a century since romantic relationships became the mainstream in Japan.

What do you think of the basic idea of "being a relationship" in Japan? What is like in your culture?


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